Wednesday, August 08, 2007


Tired. Can't sleep.

Strange thing. Noticed once, very recently, that when brain shuts down I start writing like this. Not quite Yoda-speak, not quite gibberish. Strange, how modifiers suddenly disappear and you get distilled essence. Don't know where it comes from. Maybe fingers too tired to type; Maybe mind just takes over.

Sense in him much fear. Fear lead to anger, anger lead to hate, hate lead to suffering. Heh.

Probably cannot keep up this writing when lucid. Feels like thoughts passing from brain directly to paper. In real life, would have to add lots of frills. Would add more articles like "I" or "the". Would put much more adverbs. Writing looks different when you don't consider words.

Head buzzing. Have headache again, I think. Don't know if from before dozing off, or because of waking up in middle of night. Maybe both. Might even be sound of mind working overtime. Like infernal combustion engine.

Also have urge to check e-mail. More from force of habit than anything else. Check e-mail every time computer is on. Could be compulsive now.

Awake for maybe thirty minutes. Strange. Have not yet lapsed into normal-speak. Should be name for this kind of speaking. Sleepspeak, you think? Sounds good.

Once heard that some people keep notepad and paper beside beds. That way, if idea comes in middle of night, they wake up half-lucid and scribble it down. Have not heard of any great work of art that comes from this, but don't knock it. If style works for them, then fine.

Probably not work for me. Might wake up tomorrow morning and not remember writing this, might wake up and not care at all. Just write, that's all. Don't care when you write, you just write.

Wonder what editor would think. Editor would probably have heart attack. This not easiest thing to proofread. Not even sure if I can read it.

Winding down now. Back to sleep soon. Headache getting worse, like cranium stuffed with minty-fresh cotton balls. Who knows -- might have better things to write about tomorrow. If work don't kill them first. If not too busy to put them down.

Otherwise, only alternative to wait for them and dream. And maybe one day, will sleepwalk to computer and put them down in state of half-drowse. Just like this.


cstiu said...

you sound like me when i've been working overtime until 3am.... uh.... keep up the good work? :P

Sean said...

cstiu: Hi, Claire. Long time no see. :) I haven't been working overtime till 3am, thankfully... but life's been pretty busy as of late. How are you?

Ida said...

How come you can't sleep, even when you're tired? /:)
I once read that the man who invented the scissors dreamt about something that looked like scissors, and invented them scissors in the middle of the night. I'm not sure if this is true, but you never know. :P
(I also heard that the vocalist of Maroon 5 keeps a notepad and pen beside his bed and writes down lyrics before he sleeps.)
I keep a notebook and pen under my pillow, and once, I woke up and saw said notebook and pen on my desk. I don't remember putting them there, and when I opened my notebook, I'd written something, too (one sentence gibberish (or half a sentence, because my handwriting was so fuzzy towards the end, I couldn't read it)). My sister said I was sleepwriting. Could you be doing the same?

Sean said...

Ida: I have a habit of sleeping late. Sometimes I'm tired enough to want to sleep early, but I'll inevitably wake in the middle of the night as a result.

I'm not certain about the man who invented the scissors, but I remember a similar story about the man who invented the modern sewing machine needle... he dreamt of being chased by faceless warriors with holes at the base of their spears one night, and therefore designed the "eyes" of his needles in a similar fashion. I'm not sure if it's true, though.

I'm pretty certain that I was conscious while writing this... although I was also more than a little sleepy. I do talk in my sleep, though, and my siblings tell me that it sounds as though I'm spouting off some random plots.

Claire said...

also busy. but i just resigned from my current job yesterday, and I guess that makes it all the better. no more mumbling or nightmares at night.... glad to hear at least i dont get to hear you stay up until 3am ^_^

Sean said...

Claire: Whoah. I'm glad to hear that you're not staying up late anymore... but I'm also wondering what happened.

Ida said...

Oh, I know what you should do! Put a tape recorder (er... do these things still exist?) beside your bed before you go to sleep, so that when you wake up, you can listen to what you said. Maybe the next random plot you spout off wins the next pulitzer! :P

(And it's possible that I confused the scissors story with the sewing machine needle. -_-)

Sean said...

Ida: I almost did that once, only for my efforts to be stymied by the fact that there are no 6-hour-long cassette tapes. :)

I wouldn't be able to win a Pulitzer, anyway... despite the accent, I'm not American. :)

Ida said...

But there are digital recorders nowadays that can record up to 6 hours or longer. Aren't there? (If there aren't, there should be! :P)

And I didn't know only Americans could win the Pulitzer. I guess I should've put Palanca instead. :P

Sean said...

Ida: There are digital recorders that do that now? Gosh... I feel so old. :)

And yes... one of the requirements for the Pulitzer Prize is that it can only be awarded to an American citizen. Not many people seem to know that, for some reason; I don't even know how that piece of information found its way to the back of my head...