Prom Night

Me, I'm the last person to get gushy about prom night.

My dad isn't around anymore, so I was clearly playing the role of the dominant male parent for my sister's prom. That is to say, I felt that it was going to be up to me to unnerve the poor young man as much as possible, and I spent the last two weeks practicing my best Hannibal Lecter impression.

Unfortunately, my pre-prom plans came to a dead stop when my sister got wind of what I was planning ("Hello, Steven. Have the lambs stopped screaming yet?"), and threatened to beat me to a pulp if I even so much as considered the possibility.

Steven arrived good and early - maybe about 5:00 pm for a party that was supposed to start at 6:30. I was expecting a scruffy hairdo, a half-rumpled long-sleeved shirt, and the reek of altogether too much aftershave. Steven came with a bouquet of carnations, a well-pressed shirt, and what appeared to be his best behavior. I was profoundly disappointed.

I wasn't about to give him any satisfaction yet, though. Making sure that I was wearing the most slobbish attire possible (a t-shirt with icing stains and some old bermuda shorts), I gave Steven a formal greeting and welcomed him inside the house. I notified my mother and my sister that he was waiting in the living room, and then returned to glower at our guest.

Steven took it all remarkably well, even when my mother fussed over his looks and it took them a while to figure out how to work the corsages. He promised that he would have my sister home by one in the morning, and when I asked for a midnight curfew instead, he dutifully turned in my direction, smiled and said, "Sure, boss."

Arrogant whelp.

All throughout the entire situation, from the moment of our meeting to the point where we saw them off, he was giving me the most smug expression I had ever seen. It was the kind of expression that went, "This is going to be a good night, I'm going to make sure that both your sister and I have a nice time, and there's nothing you can do to stop us."

By that time, there was nothing left for me to do but salvage what was left of my defenses. Oh, and glower at Steven. That was even though it was obvious that the glowering wasn't having any effect on him.

So now here I am, awaiting their return. It's only a few minutes after midnight, and judging from how Steven's been doing so far, he'll probably bring my sister back right on schedule. That should cap off a perfect night for both of them. Prom Date 1, Sean 0.

On the other hand, I've got his number. I can always call him up and gently remind him to get home faster. And they are a few minutes late...

Besides, it's a shame to waste a good Hannibal Lecter impression.

Bwahahahaha.