Thursday, April 05, 2007

Disclaimer: April 2007

Kyu didn't merely look old; He looked ancient, as though he had been born wearing his lab coat. There were the vestiges of a red checkered vest and bow-tie underneath, and I wondered if he was the sort of person who would be using a pocketwatch in this day and age.

"So," I said, shaking his hand, "you're Kyu."

"Yes, sir," he said.

"And this," I said, glancing around at the lead-lined walls, "is the research facility I paid for."

"Indeed," Kyu said. "I must compliment you on the success of your investments, sir."

"Let's get to the point, shall we? What do you have for me, Kyu?"

"I thought you'd never ask, sir," he said. "We've made quite a bit of advancement in the last year or so, ever since you decided to acquire our services."

"I'm a writer, Kyu. You'd be surprised at how many imaginary resources we could conjure up."

"Or how many enemies you have, sir?"

I gave the old man a cautious look. "I don't have enemies, Kyu. Just... fears."

"Enough to assuage them with dreams of retribution," Kyu concluded. "Surely a few paltry words wouldn't be worth such a fight?"

"You don't know what I'm up against out there, Kyu," I said. "Writing has always been a question of effort, and there are now too many people out there who are willing to bypass the blood and sweat that goes into these things. Last month I even heard about someone who copied an acquaintance's entries word-for-word, just for the ad revenue."

"That's a pity."

"I work hours for my site, Kyu. I make certain that everything I write is completely original. I even go as far as to make certain that all of my quotations and references are done right. I leave out no acknowledgements. I even leave myself open to negotiation for possible disputes."

Kyu looked thoughtful. "We have been working on a few of those incendiary capsules," he said.

"I don't need explosives, Kyu. I need deterrents."

"Larger incendiary capsules, sir?" Kyu asked, puzzled.

I shook my head. "Not quite. While I welcome anyone who wishes to use anything from my site, I require them to request permission from me first. I must reserve certain... resolutions... for people who wantonly take my works away from me without this permission, or those who deliberately mislead others by quoting my works out of context."

"Such as the license, then?"

"Yes, Kyu," I said, "the license. Creative Commons has been a welcome contractor so far. They have been willing to support my independent works. They have been willing to champion my literary rights. They have even been willing to kill for me... but only on special occasions that warrant my personal attention. That is why their logo shall remain on my sidebar."

Kyu sighed. "If you need deterrents, sir, then you shall find all that you need and more."

"Your research facility is the last option, Kyu. It is our... shall we say... final solution. I may yet seek legal advice against individuals who steal the words that I have carefully cultivated, but I must still have something to hold tight against my fists."

Kyu nodded. "We shall do our best, sir."

"Good," I said, and finally smiled. "Good. Now... you were mentioning something about larger incendiary capsules...?"


Dominique said...

Inspired, as usual!

Sean said...

Dominique: I just hope that Creative Commons sees the humor in all this. For anyone concerned, they don't actually kill people... although they're probably known to bust a few heads from time to time. :)

Sean said...

It has recently been disclosed to me that Kenneth Yu of Philippine Genre Stories shares the "Kyu" nickname; I have discussed this with him, and have apologized to him for any inconvenience that this post may have caused. (He's been a very good sport, though.)

That said, if he manages to develop any incendiary capsules for use against plagiarists any day, then I'll probably be the first bidder on call. :)

banzai cat said...

haha! you didn't know? And here i thought you were actually using him as a character in the story!

Ailee Through the Looking Glass said...

"...if he manages to develop any incendiary capsules for use against plagiarists any day, then I'll probably be the first bidder on call." -Not if I beat you to it. :p This is your best disclaimer yet.

Sean said...

Banzai Cat: Ironically enough, I knew it from his e-mails to me. I just didn't make the connection till it was too late. :)

Ailee: Or maybe I should wait and see if he can supersize the aforementioned capsules first... :)