I was not very productive at work today.
Sometimes you get days where you're just a whirlwind of efficiency. Those are the times when you scrawl a check mark next to each and every item on your to-do list, walk around impressing people with your clipboard and your it-ain't-over-yet attitude, and chew lunch over contracts and support calls. And then you lean back in your chair at the end of the day, holding that simple, gratified feeling that you have absolutely nothing to procrastinate about.
Today was not one of those days. It's been over twelve hours since I reported to work this Monday morning, and I feel as though I've done nothing salary-justifying, much less worthwhile. For all I know, I could have made my entire company just a little bit less profitable... but I try not to think about that.
I find that this scenario is not just limited to work. Sometimes I open up Microsoft Word intending to write something, and then end up just wasting a few hours' worth of electricity. Or sometimes I attend seminars and spend half the lecture trying to keep myself from dozing off.
Maybe it's the fact that I spent most of my weekend working. Maybe it's the fact that I was up till four in the morning last night doing freelance stuff. Maybe it's the fact that the stars and planets decided to align themselves in a way that guarantees my misfortune for the rest of the year. Lethargy isn't the easiest thing in the world to explain, and it looks terrible on your performance review besides.
I'm not about to give up my white-collar career anytime soon, of course. I've been hanging around the business world for the last seven years, and I find it woefully devoid of strange influences. As long as I can inject a little dose of myself into the stodgy office environment, I'll still be hunched over a laptop, listening to the score of the telephone.
...If I'm not being useless, that is. But some days you've got it, and some days, you don't. Today just happened to be one of the latter.