Monday, March 14, 2005

Suppose That You Were a Cockroach...

...Then wouldn't you have aspirations of ruling the world by now?

I mean, it's a common perception that cockroaches are one of only two things that are likely to survive a nuclear holocaust scenario (the other being tupperware). You're also gifted with the ability to sense miniscule changes in air pressure and possibly chemical composition, so you'd be able to go to ground long before any other animal would realize that the shockwaves were coming.

Population problems? You'd reproduce quickly, especially with fewer roach-killers in the world. Food shortages? You're a scavenger anyway, and in the worst-case scenario, you could eat through anything. (Tupperware included, although it would probably taste terrible.)

In fact, you could probably just hollow out a little Tupperware palace of your own right now and wait for the moment. That would be tantamount to building your own underground bunker, wouldn't it? What could a nuclear winter possibly do to a cockroach who's safe and sound in his or her little Tupperware home?

Sometimes you wonder why the cockroaches who make their homes in the nuclear silos don't just wise up and push the launch buttons. The truth is that, despite your general hardiness, you haven't been able to grasp the concept of alphanumeric passwords quite yet. That, and you haven't quite figured out how to lift those little keys.

Not that it's all bad, mind you. You can wait a bit. You're a cockroach, after all. If some paranoid human decides to jump the gun and turn the planet into uninhabitable wasteland ahead of schedule (uninhabitable except for you, of course), then that's perfectly all right. More tupperware for you.

Perhaps one day, a couple million years after the day, you'll achieve full sentience and look back at the species that provided you with wonderful, wonderful tupperware shortly before blowing themselves to tiny bits. Perhaps, on that day, you'll wonder if you'll ever turn your own advancements upon yourselves, wiping the world clean and paving the way for the next evolutionary stage to take over the planet. Maybe it'll be moss and lichen this time.

But for now, you're just a cockroach. And you dream, deep down inside your little tupperware home.

You dream of the world.

6 comments:

eClair said...

:)
Two things I remember: Kafka's Metamorphosis and a movie with lots of cockroaches.

The movie was really weird because the cockroaches seemed to rule the life of the guy who owned the house. It freaked me out in a major way but geez... Those roaches knew how to boss the guy around *laughs* And you see, those roaches had more than a Tupperware home ;)

Hmmm. I wonder what the roaches down the sewers are thinking right now... *grin*

Sean said...

"Joe's Apartment", starring Jerry O'Connell. :)

eClair said...

I see. Thanks. I really forgot the title of the movie.

As for your reply to my post:
I envy you! I wish that my relatives would be patient too. Good grief! I don't feel like going to the province just to avoid the harrassment.

Arashi-KIshu said...

scary thoughts...
for the life of me I couldn't remember you.

san ka dun sa picture sa anito website?

Sean said...

I'm not on it. Come to think of it, I probably never was formally under the employ of Anino Entertainment.

However, lest anyone thinks that I'm making this all up, I can assure you that my name's in the game's credits. :)

That, and I still have my original design notes on many of the characters. Agila and Maya were Niel Dagondon's creations, but I created and fleshed out plenty of the supporting cast. Let's see... Tapang, Xi Chen, Tien Yi, Herr Gilles, Fray Mateo, um... hold on... Kapitana Bayari, Tinio, Commander Del Valle, ah... it all gets fuzzy after a while... Fray Antonio, Hermit Kirog, Ganaag, um...

I don't think we've formally met, though. Hello, Arashi-Kishu. Nice to meet you. :)

jgotangco said...

There's an old game where you get to play as a cockroach. It's called Bad Mojo. Pretty interesting game.